Torn Again

what was that reality about, perpetually alone, stuck in vicious cycles of addiction and dealing with the confusion of psychosis, and eroding braincells with constant insomnia, never being able to get up and deal with reality, so reality just stabbed back. So what would make someone want to continue this existence. Alas now its all irrelevant, simply things were how they were, and now its just death, oh if only you could help me...