IV

"I've grown accustomed to the dull colors that surround me. They're comforting, in a way, yet oppressive. Better than what's outside, I guess. Everything is so loud and abrasive, it makes me sick. Everyone seems so content, and I just can't understand why. I want to feel that way, like when I was younger. The world seemed so bright and limitless, there wasn't a single thing for me to worry about, I was happy in ignorance. I feel as if I've learned too much, and I just can't bear the knowledge anymore. My head is so full, like a nest of angry hornets, and they haven't calmed down since the day I turned 18. I need to make them stop, and this is the only way I can think of doing so. This is no one's fault but my own, and by that same token it's my decision entirely. I'm sorry to everyone, I know this will be hard to digest. But in the grand scheme of things. once this is done, everything will be the same. That I can promise."