Is This Even Me

I have found a version of me In a different reality But how is that as I am me? But then again is this even me? I sometimes find me in another place Sometimes I see myself as blood on white lace A nuisance that won’t wash away But then again, is that a reality? Is this even me, because I am in doubt Who am I when I scream and shout? Usually I try to stay silent So who am I when I turn violent? All these thoughts inside my head Is this what I am good enough to get? I yell down the drain but I am not heard My heart and body are so filled with hurt Have I been here for six hours or nine? Naked in a bathtub alone with my pain My voice is long gone as my throat is dead I have screamed and cried with eyes so red I am crying but without tears My eyes have been empty for so many years I come here to kill my emotions slowly But then again is this even me? Sometimes I’m here for multiple days Without food or company in disarray Naked and loud, I scream and shout Hoping this time, it will be my final bout Coming here is like going to war And every time I pray to soar I don’t want to win, I want to die Saying I want to live would be my greatest lie So here I sit and scream out my lungs The doubt inside is consuming me Is this even me, I have no clue You could be me and I could be you I have awoken, how long has it been? My memory is blurry and I feel sick within Nothing has changed, this body’s still not dead Cold and ill in the bathtub with severe pain in my head Is this even me?