I Want to Fucking Kill Myself

lies come crashing through the flood gates battering me day by day just a pathetic waste I am I will never live up to anything at all I lose everyone who is ever close to me why do I push everyone away? I've embraced this sadness over a hundred times maybe I am destined to die sad and alone and I don't know when things will get better severed too many times now I regret letting go everyone watch as I try to break and reach the surface when this world always puts me last I will stop my heart beating maybe that way I can see some proof I could have died happy maybe next time I will think things through in the end all I wanted was something to listen and be there in the end all my friends have left so long ago...