Did I Really Deserve It?

Rotting beneath collapsed memories empty moments that'll never be lived again a dim light provides me comfort in this solitude that I remain within ensnared by the clutches of depression engulfed in a brief moment of desperation unable to reach fulfilment unable to forget... it's now time for me to realise nothing will ever be the same nothing will ever change this is what life has come to rotting away, secluded in this pit of despair nobody is coming to help no one can save me after all these years I still question it all the time did I really deserve it? the sexual abuse engraved in my memory spitting out flashbacks and panic attacks and now I find myself caged in the jaws of solitude...