Cutting Emptiness

Cutting emptiness as though it will fill me As though something can heal this pain I cut and bleed Rivers red down the beautiful aria Of a wedded august night It’s beautiful.. and then I realize How alone I am And then i collapse back into the crawling sorrow that is me Holding at my legs rocking back and forth Nails into my skin and rivers flow down my legs As cold as this summer night And I remember this sound Of the dusken crickets And I remember the warmth of her arms I remember when the tears were blanketed and washed away But I’m drowning now… For years I’ve bled Bleeding into empty rooms to somehow feel like I’m not alone Filling voids with red And disturbing tears burning silently down the pale face There’s poetry on these razors Silver friends of mine Silver embraces There are the stories that have never been heard And no matter how painfully I scream How mournfully I cry How afflicted I bleed cutting hands They have never been heard… Everyday I try to keep hoping When I look down at my hands and see the illusions vanish I tell myself That it’s okay That someday will be a better day That arms don’t need to be so long That they will be reached But every day just builds more pain and insanity And I tremble and shake Flailing my arms and ripping my neck Because time never heals It’s not getting better All the lies that the suffering won’t last forever How I always tell myself that maybe tomorrow will be different I lay in a room Shaking… manic… empty Only lit by the august moon Reminding me… Reminding me of all that I want to forget And I sit in rose gardens Hallucinating their blossom Redder every day...