Crown

If eyes are the mirror of the soul You will find in mine the scorn and apathy You will read my hatred as in a curs'd book You will see yourself as I see you It is a mirror sombre and opaque Which protects me, which stifles me A great ditch around the heart Which rejects, which estranges me There is a world in my head A dead world where nothing lives And it is there I am, too far Far too far to be rejoined A crown of thorns is still a crown I am a king in a kingdom of suffering I have taken my time to reach this stage I have taken pains to torture myself To descend, to descend Into pain, I exist And if my brain is numbed The thorn in my flesh Can overcome apathy There is glory in humiliation A throne to be taken, a crown to win I have no more tears And my smile has lost its brilliance I have forgotten who I was I have killed my emotions Crushed, empty, weary Always standing, I am a tree Awaiting the lightning